Can you believe it’s that time of year again? The Christmas decorations are all but boxed up, and soon enough, all the humans will be writing the wrong date everywhere they go. What are your New Year’s Resolutions? What people may not realize is that the start of a new year can signify a fresh start not just for people, but for pets as well!
Here is a list of some Resolutions fellow pets may have entered into 2018 – as compiled by me: Maesie Wambolt (with the help of my dog mom, Dr. Samantha Wambolt, of course)!
Resolution #1 – Eat less and exercise more
Everyone gets a little fluffier during the holidays – pets included! But the more curvaceous we get, the harder we have to work in the New Year to get back to a healthier weight. I’m a good body weight because my mom keeps me in shape, especially during the holidays. As a doctor, she knows the importance of a healthy diet and exercise schedule. It can be harder in the winter months because of the brisk weather…If you’re anything like me, I’ll park my shivering butt at the door entrance and momma has to push me out. I hate the cold! But I do love my walks. So this new year, push yourself to trudge through those snow banks, heck – even get yourself a fun snow beard! But take it from me, never let your human put booties on you. I draw the line at booties.
The ice cream was my birthday treat – everyone is entitled to a cheat day, right?
Resolution #2 – Use your superpower for good first, treats second!
I’m a pro at using my super adorable, irresistibly cute puppy-dog eyes to get things I want (I’m looking at YOU cheese!). My mom may be a doctor, but she has the softest and squishiest of hearts when it comes to me! But…as a new year’s resolution, I promise to use my beautiful face for good. When your human has a bad day, snuggle them and use your signature look to brighten their spirits. You are a big part of their life. You may not always understand them, but you know you can always make them smile!
Resolution #3 – Eat less cat poo…no matter how good it smells.
Oh goodness. This may be the most challenging resolution of all. For the longest time, I had it down to a science.
Step 1: Wait for the cat to enter the plastic throne.
Step 2: Observe human to ensure they are adequately distracted.
Step 3: Attack the delectable gifts the cat butt god has delivered to you.
Optional Step: Sulk as human pries delicious half-chomped turds from your mouth.
But now that a new year is upon us, (but also because my dog mom purchased an industrial sized 2-foot tall, towering throne to prevent further missions of poo-liciousness), I feel that it is as good a time as any to give up the habit. How I will miss the adventure every time I sense the fragrant aroma that tickles my nose each morning. But I must persevere! Give me strength, should a piece fall out as my feline sister leaps from the box… My willpower can only handle so much.
Oh the shame…
Resolution #4 – Make a date with the doctor…and try not to eat them…like really try.
This is a pretty easy one for me, but I know it may be harder for some of my fellow furry friends. I can promise you, the people in white aren’t as scary as they look! Yes, they give you needles and touch your ears, butt and other places that you feel should never be explored, but remember, they are only trying to help you.
Sometimes I’ll eat something I shouldn’t and I get an upset tummy. It’s times like these that make me glad my mom is a doctor. But I often wish I could tell others to be patient with my momma. It’s okay to be scared…but try to be gentler this new year so that the nice people at the clinic can get you back to being your adorably healthy and fun self faster!
Resolution #5 – No more ninja-like food-stealing
Believe it or not, this is more of a problem with my canine sister Charlie and my feline sister Millie. They sure do keep our mom on her toes! I like to think I’m the eldest and wisest, so I’ve figured out that if I wait patiently (with a little help from the hard-to-resist puppy-dog eyes), I’m usually rewarded for being a good girl with a safe alternative to what my mom is eating. Honestly, it still kind of irks me that my siblings get treats too at the same time, even though I’m the one who put all the work in! Its true folks, being an only child is the way to go!
My feline sister Millie showing what NOT to do!
Resolution #6 – Try not to scare the mail-person.
Okay admit it, we all have had fun with this at one point or another. For us canines, one of our all-important duties is to protect our home from intruders. For our feline counterparts, tormenting the mail person can be just downright fun. But a new year calls for the turning over of a new leaf! A satisfying alternative is dropping little gifts in the yard the day before a snowfall. Take it from me, the landmine of poop can make up for the lack of physical intimidation.
Resolution #7 – Try to introduce yourself better.
For me, this means being less reserved with new people. For my sister Charlie, this means cutting back on the Ultimate Fighting-style head butts and French kissing of people we don’t know. I know it can be difficult when you’re a nervous Nellie like me, to not greet guests by automatically pressing the BLADDER RELEASE button, but if I’m going to try, you should too!
So whichever category you fall into, whether it be too outgoing or too shy, make a pact to go outside of your comfort zone and make adjustments.
Why, hello kind sir or madam, I am Maesie.
Resolution #8 – Grumble less when dressing in silly clothing. My mom LOVES dressing my sister and I up. I’m pretty sure we have more clothes than she does! Charlie loves when mom breaks out the winter parka or the ugly Christmas sweater or sleep-time onesie. But for me…well, I find dignity in my nudity. But look, going back to Resolution #2 (using your superpower for good), if sporting a butt-flap makes your human happy, I’d consider that a win.
Resolution #9 – Try a new activity with your person
Whether it be swimming, hiking, shopping or travelling, always remember that as long as you and your human are together, fun will always follow. We all have our favourite activity. I love driving in the car. My sister loves ultimate Frisbee. But this year, promise yourself that you’ll try something new, you never know – you may just love it!
Resolution #10 – Have more playtime in your routine
Life is too short to be serious all the time. So break out those stuffies and have a blast! My personal favourite is my purple monkey – we’ve been together since my puppy days and out of all of the toys I have, it’s the one I grab every time. What’s your favourite toy? Whatever it may be, spend some you time and try to allow at least a few hours to making that day the most fun day ever!
Disclaimer: Laptops, wires, cell phones and ‘important’ papers are not toys! No matter how fun they look, chewing them will most certainly make your human very grumpy.
Resolution #11 – Try and enjoy a good spa day – paw-picture included!
Ah, the dreaded trip to the…*shivers*… groomer! The bubble bath is okay, especially when I get a fantastic back and ear massage! But then comes the loud and scary clippers and the sudden lack of winter wear as all of my glorious fur falls haphazardly to the floor. And then…my absolute least favourite, the harrowing nail trim! It usually takes three regular humans all their might to hold all nine pounds of me for a nail trim. Siobhan, the nice new groomer at mom’s clinic does a very good job at making me feel comfortable during my nail trims. I recommend her! Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t look forward to our appointments, but I’m glad she’s always patient with me. She’ll make you look fabulous – I promise!
That being said, if you’re really, really not able to relax during nail trims, you can always ask my mom or your chosen person in white for a mild sedative. Mom tells me there’s a range of different options available to pets for anxiety, even just for every-now-and-again use. So if you think you may need a little help relaxing for your paw-ticure, definitely get your human to hit up the people in white!
Resolution #12 – Have better oral hygiene. January 15th to March 15th is Dental focus! So what better time to discuss the importance of dental health with your human than in the New Year! Just this past October, I got my very first dental done, and boy was it a whirlwind! As you can see in the images below, I had some pretty lovely medications to make sure I remembered none of it! One minute I was curling mom’s hair with my breath, the next I became a spokes-model for Colgate, (minus my two front teeth)! It was exhilarating! Now I eat dental treats to cut down on tartar, mainly because I don’t appreciate mom brushing my teeth.
So just remember, if you’re like me and don’t like the miniature broom brushing your chompers, there are other options. Just speak to your person in white.
Written by: Dr. Samantha Wambolt & Maesie Wambolt